Scheduling Ironists Mugs

"Lunch on Tuesday? I won't be free. How about Thursday week?"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Why Superman flies himself

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

Body by Jake

'for more obit info, go to...'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

'Your job will be to worry about the unimportant things.'

'They didn't kick me upstairs after all -- they threw me down the elevator shaft!'

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

'After our downsizing drive, there won't be room for you within our organization, Holbrooke. However, we would like to retain your services as a corporate clown.'

'Johnson gave it to Wilson to give to Adams to give to O'Connor to give to Anderson to give to me to give to you to get it done right away.'

'Yes, my opinion today is the opposite of what I said yesterday. In my position, this is called 'flexibility', in your position, it would be called 'unreability''.

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

'I stole it from the library.'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

General says, 'Gentlemen, no more war. Because of health concerns they've recalled everything that contains lead, like our bullets.'

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

'I'm sick of you leeching off me.'

Income Tax Return

"Honey, guess what? My therapist finally got me to cry!"