Schedule Satirists T-Shirts

'Time manager'

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

Procrastinators Incorporated

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

The Department of Lessons Learned...

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

"You're in luck. We have an opening for low man on the totem pole."

We should promote many of our staff to management positions...

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

"Looks like you're quite the wheeler and dealer... unfortunately we're only hiring movers and shakers."

Beating by Appointment.

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

"The subject of this never ending meeting was how to keep meetings short..."

Male & Female separate company buildings

"What are they complaining about...the work is challenging,interesting, demanding..." "AND we let them do it for 80 hours a week"

'I've got an idea for improving productivity...Stop having meetings and start working.'

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"It's a new year, a NEW start!. . . We must put aside our sexist misogynistic past. . ."

Snowman arriving home to his Refrigerator Home

"Mr. Rod, we know what's happening...you're laying us all off."

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

'Not only did he say I can circumcise him, but he also said there'll be six more weeks of winter.'

"Now let's check our ethical hats in at the door and get some bloody work done."

'I told you the corporate thinking was set in stone.'

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

"What do you think of the new cubicles?"