Scent Satirist T-Shirts

Decrepto

Illogic Tree

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Have you any W fronts?'

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Phone Mittens

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

Sir Earnest Rutherford splits the opium.

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

"I'm going to use Aversion Therapy. Get better or pay me $300 an hour."

"If I hear the word ‘mindfulness’ one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it."

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

Stay at home

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

Home for the Holidays

"This time lick my entire body."

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

Skinny model in wardrobe - 'Clothes hang better on skinny models.'

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

"I'll only remove what's necessary...your gall bladder and the man bun."