Scent Humorist Pillows

"You smell different – is that a new dead carcass you're wearing?"

"Sniff, sniff, NICE! Smells like butt!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Gee, thanks pal."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

German School

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."