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'Ugh, a contact lens. I wish he'd had corrective surgery because I hate artificial ingredients.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'But what do you sell?'

Need tickets.

"How much is the sign?"

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

No Loitering

'Is that some kind of a cruel joke? They're not dying, they're turning into Zombies!'

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

"You're early - trash day's not till thursday."

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

Center for anti-discrimination.

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

'Stitch-In-Time-Man saved nine people before tragically leaving the rest to perish in the tragedy.'

'Bob, I think I hate people.'

"I'll trade you a banana peel and an apple core for two fish heads."

"Arr...Here must be the spto where the treasure's buried! Start diggin'!"

'I'm bored! Do we have any bubblewrap?'

"It looks like we'll die as we lived, Warren...birdwatching."

"Halleljujah! I'm saved!"

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

The End is Near: Shoe Sales Ends Friday!

Carrion Helper

'Maybe you just got a hold of something fresh.'

'Got anything past its expiration date?'