Scandinavian Sage Pillows

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

Bishop with a crozier case.

Mitch learns he is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'It will cure every ailment known to man, the only side effect is, you'll choke to death trying to swallow it.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Hunters turned philosophers"

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'