Scandinavian Sage Pillows

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Bishop with a crozier case.

Mitch learns he is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'It will cure every ailment known to man, the only side effect is, you'll choke to death trying to swallow it.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

"Hunters turned philosophers"

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'