Scams Prints

"Do you have your pin number for the next year at the ready?"

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Dialed the number, ordered the tapes and placed hundreds of little ads. Didn't hit a snag until step four: Just sit back and rake it in.

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

Pretending To Care

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

Gone Phishing

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

Amateur Spam.

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

'Investing in a company whose website is Ponzischeme.come would raise red flags for me.'

"Would you believe it, that pensions liberation plan was just an on-line scam..."

"Me, I work with a professional snake catcher: he drops me into people's backyards at night and waits for the call in the morning to come and catch me again..."

Get rich quick giving seminars!

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

'But monsieur I can get it for you so cheap, all the hard work has been done, it just needs the cladding.'

P.T. Barnum as a child.

"Yes, you are speaking to university admissions!"

"I'm the Nigerian Prince that emailed you. I got concerned when I never heard back."

STIMULUS PACKAGE ALLOCATION COMMITTEE, 'Okay, we'll take the part out about the Nigerian banker's widow.'

Invisible Pups For Sale Both Parents Can Be Seen

"Good heavens no, I haven't always been a monarch! I started as a confidence trickster."