Saying Savants Prints

"I guess it's true what they say about April showers."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Illogic Tree

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

East End Maps.

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

Failure is no an option: "I'd now like to speak on the topic of government bailouts!"

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

The breakup

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

Let's tell the folks in the Garlic Belt there's no budget for steps 2 and 3.

Office of the PR of the United States

'Marketing reports they're fooled all of the people all of the time.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

The Good Breathing Guide

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

'We need to change our marketing strategy.'

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

"I'm going to use Aversion Therapy. Get better or pay me $300 an hour."