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Lonely Piggy Bank

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

"I just..."

Roasting the Moneybox

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"It failed the stress test."

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

Piggy Bank ATM

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

A child busking

Piggy bank...cash cow.

'The good news is that what you save on my hair cut can be added to my allowance.'

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Safe under mattress.

They're rich but not in a glamorous way. They're Certificate of Deposit rich.

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

'Don't be afraid, the speculators won't take away your savings. I'll be faster than they are!'

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

'But, Pop ... I thought bears hibernated in the winter.'

Money going to shark and piggy bank.