Satirical Story Lover Pillows

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Your luggage has gone to hell.'

"Not trying, if you ask me."

Truth about coronavirus

"Isn't that the new guy from Forward Planning?"

"And so my boss decided to take me under his wing, where I proceeded to get sucked into a jet engine."

Conflict: Resolved Continued!!!

Smile.

'Our micro-chipped dog is right here and the kids are who-knows-where. Are we missing something here?'

Very rich - please help yourself

Best Christmas Ever

Fat Reduction Clinic.

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"Okay, we've got a new columnist at the Atlantic this week to broaden our intellectual offerings."

Arresting Adam and Eve

"Do you have anything that says 'I love you, but only because you live in a sanctuary city'?"

I'm filthy rich. Don't tell anyone. What? I've got 28 million so far. But I choose to live like a normal peon. 28

Frank and Ernie's Updated Fairy Tales. The three little pigs built their new house out of bricks, so now he's using eminent domain!

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Occu-Pie Mars

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'That's our mission statement.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Do Not Resuscitate

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Trump pardons

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'