Satirical Scene Lover Gifts

Inexpensive ways to slow speeders....

"I feel we’re wasting our time here in Moscow."

"That is six feet."

Euthanasia Clinic

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

A man walks his dog with the leash attached to the dog's shadow instead of the dog.

David Niven caricature

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Arresting Adam and Eve

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'

Houdini's Dog.

'You can come out now, Harold. Economists say a recession won't happen.'

"It's just a wild guess but I suspect that the 14 points apply done at six countries may have contributed to your feeling a 'bit unwell'."

"I liked the one that saluted."

"Isn't that the new guy from Forward Planning?"

Frank's (Littleknown) Bird Sanctuary.

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

Fat Reduction Clinic.

Yes, I'm sure I existed. 404 not found.

"After years of low level burglaries, Robin Hood started to steal from the rich using a sophisticated Ponzi scheme."

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"I can refer you either to Dr. Basinkski, a noted specialist, Dr. Hodge-Cabot, who is a pioneer in the field, or Charlie, a generic doctor who also does a very nice job."

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

Oil gushes out of a oil derrick on a computer screen.