Satirical Food Enthusiast Mugs

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Lockdown casserole

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Cooking with Pierre

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Murderous Chef

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

'Trust me, Madam, that fish is fresh!'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

The real reason salad aids weight loss

'People soup again?'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."