Satirical Enjoyer Pillows

"I consider myself an intelligent anti-vaxxer."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

Crap from the future.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Nun Fight.

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Czarcasm

Trappist Monk Discord

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

What do you suggest we do about this?

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

HELLth Food Sprouts

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"