Satirical Enjoyer Pillows

"I consider myself an intelligent anti-vaxxer."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

How about going easy on the carbs

Crap from the future.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Nun Fight.

Trappist Monk Discord

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

What do you suggest we do about this?

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

HELLth Food Sprouts

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"A haand gel...!?"

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"