Satire Enjoyer Pillows

"He passed the sobriety test. Now I think he's just showing off."

'Water? Oh, that's good! Hah hah hah! How very droll! No, sorry old man, no water here... This is a CULTURAL oasis!'

"They're really making it much harder to claim disability benefits!"

'Crikey cat - the streets aren't paved with gold at all - it's chewing gum!'

Your Sculpture while you wait.

'Sorry to put you through all this paperwork but our lawyer said it was necessary for our legal protection when we yell obscenities as you walk by.'

"That salesman was right. This company does ship orders fast!"

St George at the psychiatrists.

"Don't tell me you're back so soon, Pinocchio?"

'If it wasn't for Jim Jones we would have lost today. . . he's the umpire.'

Inspector Norse

"Look, Grog...me invent road-rage!"

'You're paying to watch gratuitous violence?'

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

'No one read it.'

'Looks like that Russian artist's scrotum nailed to the cobbles in Red Square.'

John Goodman

MPs opt for longer surgery opening hours: Gp's have to be available when the public needs them... We won't be able to look at it until after the six week Christmas break!

'We're not actually full, we just keep a line outside to make the place look good...'

'Like Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck sez, we don't wan' gov'ment messin' in life 'n' death decisions. That's the insurance companies job!'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

'This is the place I heard someone talking about a rat race.'

'Well, okay. But, only if you're sure they're 'free range'.'

'Does this gown make me look fat?'

Hedge of two moo cows

"Business was going so well, I decided to take on an apprentice."

"Best not to risk it, I might find the joke offensive."

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

"For persistent coughers."

"Nicely illustrated but the plot's a bit thin."

US troops Exit Afghanistan.

"We raised our son pretty well, Ethel. He's very ambitious and has a great career! Okay, he's a con artist who cheats old people out of their savings..."

Biblical Social Media

"Mr Gorbachev, open this gate!"

"Hey, you idiot! Keep a two meter distance!"