Satirical Corporate Culture Enthusiast Pillows

"How do I set up a small business?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

Parade of Businessmen

Office pics on dinner table.

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."