Satire Fan Prints

"You had good intentions. Let's find you a nice job paving roads."

"I grant you three wishes – as long as they're not hand sanitiser, face masks or toilet paper."

7 Dwarves of Midlife.

"Looking good!"

'You're not from around here?'

Various Birds of Pray.

"Wait, people! Let's not rush into a bad deal."

"For goodness sake, dear, it's only an electric bicycle."

"Although it's nothing serious, let's keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't turn into a major lawsuit."

'BOy! Talk about organ rejection!'

'Off hand, I'd say you're suffering from an arrow through your head, but just to play it safe, I'm ordering a bunch of tests.'

'It's all her on your facebook page.'

"Definitely work-related."

Sarcasm support group.

'My child has an eating disorder. She likes vegetables.'

'The policy pays out in the case of accidental death, or if you can make it look like an accident.'

"Oh, like you know something the Internet doesn't know."

The New Surgery Interpreter was to prove invaluable

'So we're agreed then there's no need to change our equal opportunities employment policies.'

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

"Sure, it looks good. Too good. Trust me, there's always a catch."

'That might work as your own personal mission statement. But what we're really shooting for here is something the whole company can get behind.'

'I told you it would fit.'

"Not to worry—I'm going to put our best-looking people on the job."

"Try to get more exercise."

'I know, let's try role reversal. I'll drone on and on about my miserable life and we'll see how you like it.'

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'When I die, please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. . .Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.''

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

'It's because I'm a bull, isn't it.'

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'No, I don't take any drugs, but I do have a $50 a day latte habit.'

'Something is missing.'