Sat Preparation Gifts

'There's been a slight mistake. 1542 wasn't the average SAT score - it was the number of students who took the test.'

New for parents with college-bound kids: SAT sample-test toilet paper.

Burning the midnight oil.

Exam

'I really crammed last night.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Nervous Oral Testing

Good luck with all the revision...

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Examinations.

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

Pushed to the max by the algebra test, Tim's brain spontaneously combusted.

Bigger Brain

Nervous Student

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

Snacks for Learners

Pizza Study Party

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

The timing doesn't work for eco-club to start a garden. I have a better idea. Build a compost bin. You can recycle the school's leaves and grass clippings. You'll have good soil for a garden next spring. That's not enough time for college admissions essays. Write about the trauma of delayed gratification. Never heard of it.

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

I downloaded some SAT practice tests. I'll time you. Ok. Ready. "If Ann spends every day obsessing over stupid tests,

Boys score better than girls on SATs. Practice tests. That's so unfair. Don't stress! They're pointless tests with idiotic questions that are useless in real life. Ah!

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"