Sassy Scribe T-Shirts

"Copywriting is too 'writing.'"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'Do you call this spaghetti'

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

Furniture from hell.

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

"I agree, Glenn. The first sentence needs to hook the reader."

"You know you have a weak heart, mom. Sit down on your favorite rocking chair and just it easy."

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

"In other words homogenius."

'Perfect birthday party dear, but so it should be after the practice you've had over so many years.'

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'I'm not eating that - it hasn't been advertised on the telly...'

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

"He's perfectly nice, but sort of boring, like good cholesterol or something."

Hollywood Writers Strike

"Can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis."

"I didn't know Don Quixote was a republican."

'Sorry, I can't hear you because this jerk in front of me has a really crinkly wrapper.'

"Have your people get in touch with my people."

The quest for spinsterhood.

'There's something wrong with my stomach.' - 'Keep your coat buttoned and nobody will notice.'

"Hurry up. I might want out."

Nice try, but you can't blame your empty highball on global warming.

"'Lone Wolf"? No babe, you've misread it: my online profile reads 'Love Wolf'!"