Sarcastic Sage Fan T-Shirts

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

British savings accounts

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

That party went well.

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

Justice

Men working (part time).

The 11th Commandment

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

Mitch learns he is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'I've decided to make you someone else's problem.'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

God finger

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Manspreading in Art

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

'Have you considered the career enhancement opportunities of giving birth in your lunch hour?'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."