Sarcastic Listener Mugs

'I appreciate all of your opinions... I just don't want to hear them.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

"No, I don't wanna read your damn blog."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

Didn't we fire you last week?

"Just say the word and I'll love you."

"If you need me, I’ll be in the living room clawing the bejesus out of that Navajo rug you just picked up at auction."

'On second thought, he does do one thing around the house -- he cleans out the refrigerator.'

"We have met today because you, Cynthia, and you, Kevin, now want to look together for a scapegoat to blame for your stupidity, your laziness, your total failure, and for your antisocial behaviour."

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

'That's four million, one hundred and eighty straight misses, Mr Fenson. Your shooting has gone all to hell.'

It's too cold...the boss is a jerk...my feet hurt.

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

'It seems that my advice wasn't the only thing he could do without.'

"If your boyfriend is so special, why is his name tattooed on the back of your neck where you can't see it?"

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

'Legal say that 'Be my Valentine' opens us up to sexual harrassment claims, they suggest 'dear individual of indeterminate or any gender would you consider accepting the role of being my person of special interest'.'

"No, I didn't fake it last night. I really was asleep"

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

'I'd prefer the banks were re-formed and Destiny's Child split up.'

'I let Ed sleep through these meetings. His snoring keeps the others awake.'

'We lost six nil!. . . and we were lucky to get the nil!'