Sarcastic Email Aficionado Pillows

"Oh...here comes the response from the complaints department!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Exciting potato bugs.

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Spam in Hell.

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Redhead

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

How About Serving Us For a Change

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.

The Horn of Unanswered Email

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'