Santa Story Aficionado T-Shirts

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Santa Claus's Mail

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

High security Santa's grotto

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa CGI Effect

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

The Reindeer Strike

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.