Santa Spoiler T-Shirts

'You're Steve from menswear. I read it on wikileaks.'

Santa Claus's Mail

High security Santa's grotto

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Punk Reindeer

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Santa CGI Effect

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

The Reindeer Strike

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Great Moment in North Pole History

"Here comes Santa! I'm his number one fan!"

"The cookies are always stale."

Working one day a year doesn't pay the bills