Santa's Snack Enthusiast Gifts

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Santa Claus's Mail

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Rage.

Bad for you but to die for

High security Santa's grotto

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Trail mix?"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Love is when you watch television together.

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Sheltering in place.