Santa Claus Gifts

'So you admit that labelling my client as 'naughty' is based upon hearsay from other children, not from actual facts!'

Dear Santa...

'On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, and Vixen; On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...wait, this can't be right.'

Elf and Safety: 'Have you got a seat belt on that thing?'

'I need something with a huge cargo rack and unlimited mileage.'

'First, is there going to be any shipping and handling charges on this stuff?'

Hot Tub Frosty

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.........

Santa Perusing Naughty List/Nice List While On The Toilet.

'Eggnog... eggnog...'

Santa emergency stop.

NSA is coming to town.

'Lotta bad kids this year, huh?'

"I need to be upfront...with me you only get the one wish, the granting of which depends on your behaviour!"

Nice/Naughty/Morally Complex

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Man lost in a desert gets given a watch by Santa Claus.

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"I've only got a few who can get around the world overnight. . . their names are - corona, delta and omicron."

Toymakers Union, North Pole: 'I especially want to thank the little people who make it all happen - my elves.'

"Don't worry about me, what do you want?"

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

Rudolph wasn't the only one who used to like to play Reindeer Games.

Santa picks out a suitable light bulb for Rudolph's nose.

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Santa's Helpers

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

North Pole Adult Toy Testing Lab

Claus 2.0

Really? Santa won't stop at your house if you're not asleep on Christmas eve? That sounds like a sort of entrapment to me!

"I don't believe in you!"

Testing the Waters