Sandbox Satirist Gifts

"I promise that this will be the last time that Daddy will ask you to help him post his resume online."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'Secondhand smoke.'

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

Blockhead

"Listen, kid - in the real world, great power comes with no responsibility whatsoever."

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Suburban street.

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'Sire, the peasants say you're just using them.'

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

A cockroach controlling Donald Trump with puppet strings

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

Cowboy Trump

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Whale shoots rocket at whaling boat.

Autumn Leaves

'I've got my bandages to protect me!'