Samaritan T-Shirts

'Hi, it's me - I'm under a train.'

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Pirate

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'We are now passing through the Sicilian Triangle, otherwise known as 'The Drink','

'Stop saying, 'All in.' You're playing Solitaire.'

Solitaire card shark.

"Delivery."

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

Castaway on a desert island with one tree finds a hammock.

"Dad's home."

'Do you do anything other than coconut?'

'I've discovered that the rings around Saturn are composed of lost keys, socks and grocery lists.'

"Lights...Camera...No Action...The Flaw in 'Celebrity Solitaire'"

'Do you have to bring your work home with you?'

'He'd fall over backwards to help anybody.'

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

Self-sacrifice to aid others

Life's choices (Tampons and Chocolate).

Killing time, and vice versa....

"Young man, you're the only one who bothered to stop!"

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

'He was offered a role in a sitcom and has the potential to be a successful child actor. We've already set up a legal defense fund.'

Quiet night? Liven up that game of solitaire with a Mexican wave.

Farmers prepare for spring seeding.

"These are my parents, the bingers. Mom binges on shows, and dad on food."

A Real Working Vacation.

"How many times are young going to playback that last episode of 'Friends'?"

"Remember when you said 'retirement' was a dirty word?"

"I'll say one thing for you. You've got green fingers."

Man chops down palm tree to make coconut shy.

'He's a nice boy - It's a shame how some people take advantage!'