Salvage Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Deals in junk....talks a load of rubbish."

Dog Dreams

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Desert Island Mishap

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Help! Send fishing tackle!

"We've got a problem."

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

Shipwrecked.

Firemen trying to rescue a monk from a burning monastery

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"The Catlich Maneuver"

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"