Salsa Sage Pillows

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'We are so in sync!'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

"First you make a roux."

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

Fish near-death experiences.

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

A fortune cookie for investors.

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

The Stock Market and Personal Income.

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'