Salesforce T-Shirts

"I'm making a fortune knocking on peoples doors and selling these"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

Killer Executive Suits.

"Just be yourself."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

37 years in the same position.