Sales Pillows

'By setting the sales goal after the sales, we're able to consistently maintain an above average sales quota.'

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'If this doesn't get them into the showroom, nothing will.' (customers following line of money.)

"There is only one explanation..."

"Wheels and an engine? Now you're talking sports package."

'Almost finished.'

"Somewhere out there, Patrick, is the key to increased sales. I want you to find that key, Patrick, and bring it to me."

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

'Can't you see I'm busy?' - Machine Gun salesman rejected during battle.

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

'It's so new we don't know what it does, but nobody else has it so we're selling the hell out of it.'

'The sales team did all they could, so I'd have to say the blame for that must fall on the consumer.'

'How are we going to achieve our goal this year?'

'Ok team.. let#s review: When the arrow goes down it mean...'

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Statistics: "Here's the sales graph...which way around would you like it?"

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

"Eddie, my favourite rep - you've got three minutes."

'At our last meeting we decided to go for broke. Well, mission accomplished.'

'Unfortunately, we were a little off-target again this quarter.'

'We would like to offer your company the opportunity to become one of our biggest customers.'

"I'm afraid the turnout isn't as high as we'd hoped, three of them misheard the date; five got the time wrong and everyone from sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake!"

"How are my sales doing?"

Rex and Rusty simply didn't understand that no matter how snappy their sales presentation was, it would always look like a dog and pony show.

I had a career in theatre, and television but I quit because I couldn't suppress my passion for insurance sales

'Get me public relations!'

We Made a Fortune! 'That's good enough for me. I don't really need the specifics...'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Here's your lemonade and here's some descriptive literature about my franchising opportunities.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Lethal Presentation

'I'd like to see us start making a little more of this money, up here.'

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'