Sales And Marketing Gifts

'I'm sure that using this new sign we will triple the sales of eye glasses.'

Rain Forest - Emergents/Canopy/Climbers/Understory/Umbrella Salesman.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Larry's used art

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'How fast can you hype?'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Apples for sale

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"