Sales Adviser Pillows

'Big discounts means small profit. To increase the profit, find a big customer and rob him.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

Toadstools

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'