Salary Transparency Supporter Gifts

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

Redacted Funnies: "Finally, the President blurted out what the country knew all along. . . . . . "

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

Wholesale market in Cuba

"She's always like this at this time of the month!"

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

The Farewell Speech Eisenhower Should Have Made...

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'Nothing like fear tactics to deter future leakers!'

Trump's Wall

Closing Laugh Ministry of Info

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."

You earn too much! Executives vs Unions.

'The problem is, you don't take enough pride in your temporary, no benefit, below living wage job!'

Report

Waiting for the Phone to Ring

"Full disclosure. . . we're not disclosing anything."

"I did some research and I think this will be better than bringing an apple to the new teacher."

Weapens of Mass Redaction

"Equal pay? Good grief, I remember when we could get away with a few shiny beads and bits of mirror!"

Thanks, Heroes!

Bash a Traitor

'Look, I agree that you deserve the same salary as your male counterparts, but I have a responsibility to defend the traditional pay structure.'

"The 'wage gap' mostly disappears when you control for the fact that women work far fewer hours than men."

Panic broke out in the White House when it got so smoky they couldn't see the mirrors.