Salary Supporter Gifts

'No, I'm not wearing high heels. I look taller because the minimum wage will increase and now I can stand taller.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Mario Draghi

'What do you do with the time you save?'

National Everything Awareness Day

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

Keep the econoimy moving

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"Bees need all the help they can get Bob! Think of the consequences! No more honey for a start..."

Proud Mum.

Hedgehog Mortuary.

John Prescott

'I'm no grey squirrel...just a very old red one.'

Parents teacher conference.

"I did some research and I think this will be better than bringing an apple to the new teacher."

'If anyone here objects to the marriage of these two men, speak up now because opponents are aging and dying off and soon won't matter anymore...'

"I expected it to be a lot busier on our opening night."

"Try to remain calm. I'm going to talk you down."

"Guess who?"

'I was only telling him yesterday he should watch his weight'.

All the best

Pope recognizes same sex civil union

Climate Change is Real

About this dependant of yours...

"Good morning, ma'am. I'd like to share the good word of vegetarianism with you."

Forever Pride!

"I set a limit: one pity play per actor friend per year."

'Thank God you finally hired me...I couldn't keep up this absurd charade of bright-eyed enthusiasm one moment longer!'

"There is no work right now. Everyone says to apply again next November."

'Senator, are you sure you didn't swallow your cellphone? I keep getting a'vote for Shlumberg' ringtone.'

"One of my boys just got a college basketball scholarship."

"I went down to the state unemployment office like you said, Dad. I explained that I had no skills, no experience and no actual desire to work...I start working there Monday! They said I'd be perfect!"

"If I'm collecting for one cause, I may as well collect for them all."