Salary Struggler Gifts

"I don't know, Baldo. Sometimes I feel this assistant manager stuff isn't for me."

Back to work...

"How about a little more coffee?"

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'Lou you have never gotten comfy with spreadsheets, have you?'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

I am coffee and I need more coffee

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Gravity wins - again.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'Sorry I'm late - My sundial didn't go off.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

'It's a true real scientific fact! If I don't open my eyes, today will go away!'

Alarm

'Was the class too early for you?'

Eye Opener

"It's someone's turn to make the coffee..."

Monday Checklist.

"Don't you have a snooze button?"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

"I have no trouble falling asleep and I have no trouble waking up. I just need to switch when they happen."

"I can't believe I scored so low on my algebra test."

'I'm running late again this morning...' - '...in the vain hope that somebody will fire me.' - 'Gah. My life is ridiculous.'

Monday 5:30 am

George was not a morning person.

'Was the interview too early for you?'

"...were in fact not victims but just had a really, really hard time getting out of bed this morning."

"Oops, sorry new guy, I guess I forgot to mention he's not a morning person..."