Salary Philosopher T-Shirts

'Dexter got a golden parachute, Nolan got a golden handshake and I got a golden retriever.'

"My teacher said if she knew as much about teaching as everyone else, the school wouldn't be able to afford her."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Thinking Gears

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

Ban on Free Speech

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Jean-Paul Sartre

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Voltaire

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

What's normal?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.