Salary Philosopher T-Shirts

'Dexter got a golden parachute, Nolan got a golden handshake and I got a golden retriever.'

"My teacher said if she knew as much about teaching as everyone else, the school wouldn't be able to afford her."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Thinking Gears

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Ban on Free Speech

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

Voltaire

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

What's normal?

"It's such a lovely day!"

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"