Salary Negotiation Skeptic Gifts

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'Wagner, if I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!'

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

What motivates you? Apart from earning enough money to keep me alive?

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

'Actually, Carruthers, if you take the world average income, you're grossly overpaid.'

'As with all the other candidates, if you could write your expected salary on this piece of paper, we can then move on to the next stage.'