Salary Deduction Analyst T-Shirts

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

Your son has a genetic inability to calculate. This forecasts for him a brilliant career in the Ministry of Finance.

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

"If I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!"

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

Your new salary is closely linked to profits - a smaller salary means more profits.

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

Of Congress can't come to an agreement on a spending plan...

'All right, I want to know who's responsible for our profits no longer being obscene!'

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

'We looked at a variety of options for allocating money to the voluntary agencies...and letting them fight it out was by far the cheapest.'

'My teacher says that your tax cut favors the rich.'

Work stress.

Dadonomics

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."