Salary Challenger Gifts

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I'm worried. We're small enough to fail, but not big enough to be bailed out!"

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

Sinking sales

Businessman at the deep end.

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

Fight on the top

Trickle down

People hanging on to the horns of the raging bull of 'Business'

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

"Now, are you here to see the top dog or the queen bee?"

Please seat to be weighted.

Workers' Rights

'I like to end these meetings with a group hug, if you'll step out of the cubicles.'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'This job is the cutting edge of female multi-tasking. We need you to perform as if headed for the top. We also need you to never actually get there.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

"Until you've replaced, you're irreplaceable in this company."

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"

'I've tried to set an example for you, but you just don't have the right attitude, Carson.'

'If you really want that promotion, Barnes, you'll swim back to the boat and get my laptop.'

CEO: 'Send a memo reminding everyone I'm still here.'

'That dog's so greedy - it's only an hour since the last salesman called!'

'It's the thin person inside you, screaming to get out - I'm afraid he's not alone.'

Casino. Ask about our frequent take-a-flyer program.

Fat Cat controls the wage earner.