Salad Dreamer T-Shirts

'I dreamed last night that we had SALAD.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Today's special... donuts.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Cupcake Excitement Scale

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

'Shall we bother with the sweet, chubby-chops?'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Diet considerations.'

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

Dogs and Cake

The famous Walled-off salad.

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'You're eating too much roughage.'