Saintly Humor Fan T-Shirts

St. Elmo's fired.

"That's our new church mascot."

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

"In heaven there are no trees."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"Oh yeah – They really are forever – Cool huh?"

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

"Lower and to the left...AHHHHH!"

Meditating cat. 'Hi! You have reached the 4th state of consciousness. We're not in right now...

Priest

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

"I wasn't responsible for those sins."

"Bad timing – he's in one of his Old testament moods today."

Man in Hell, 'Well, I gotta tell ya, layers is NOT the answer.'

"Don't sit under the Bodhi Tree with anyone else but me."

'Pig flu??!'

"And one more thing: you don't get to pardon yourself."

"It would be terrible if atheists ran things. No weekends."

"You've been randomly selected for additional screening."

How To Saint . . .

"When I found out I couldn't take it with me, I left it all to charity."

Got omnipotence?

"Let's get to know him. He's being fast tracked to sainthood."

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

'Yes, I am God. Got a problem with that?'

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

'I'd buy her a drink, but I don't think I can do that up here.'

"Don't you sometimes wish that maybe you had been just a little bit naughtier in your former life?"

Saint Peter using a security screening.