Saint Patrick's Day Fan Gifts

'No, you don't get to choose between the wearin' of the green and the eatin' of the green.'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

Why it's easier to fall in love with a fat bald guy,

'Look I know they're all the same length, but concentrate, Mrs. O'Brien. Which one of these fools took your husband?'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

I love you Geyser...

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side befcause she was green, and an 'O'Houligan'..."

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side because she was green, and an 'O' Houligan'..."

'I'm here to apply for a green job.'

'Mary, please clear my schedule for today. Something's come up.'

"Guard this with your life. The value of gold has gone way up against the dollar."

Nativity Scene on the Underground

"What happened to my piece of cake?"

"Happy St. Patrick's Day"

About to take a triumphant departure from Ireland, Saint Patrick set his sights on world domination. That is, before his focus was diverted by a small harmless looking beverage.

'Okay... if you're a leprechaun then let's see you Riverdance.'

"What am I, chopped liver?"

'Sorry, lad, but I lost all me gold during the recession. All I can give ya is a buck thirty in change!'

Ceilidh Minogue.

'Look! They're little green men too.'

At home with the Pope.

'It happened on Valentin's Day. My husband thought it would be romantic to replace my heart pill medication with candy hearts...'

"No on seemed to mind me dressing like this when I was younger!"

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

Blarney Stone Romance

'That does it You need glasses'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!