Sailing Satirists Pillows

'Things have been pretty quiet around here since the capt'n got into online piracy.'

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Chicken soup for the sole.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Walking the Plank.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Fish near-death experiences.

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

The Conveyance of a Corkscrew Hand

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'