Safety Systems Pillows

Selling Home Security Systems.

"There you go Dad, now, instead of just thumping the ground, you can press the red button to raise the alarm..."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

On the brink.

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Baby on board.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

Reasonableman

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"Careful."