Safety Scholar T-Shirts

Simian CPR Class. Those of you who pound your chest regularly will find this easier than others. (Published originally on September 26, 2011.)

'Do you remember when all we had to worry about was the menu?'

Safe Space?/Unsafe Space?

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Baby on board.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

Caution signs.

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Crash Test Dummy Blues

Sand danger

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.