School Safety Enthusiast T-Shirts

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"That's Kevin, my security-guy."

Riot Gear Equiped Teachers: We're just ready for anything.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bermudez. Baldo was playing 'Rock-Paper-Scissors'...it was wrongly interpreted as gang hand signals. At this school, all forms of hostile hand signals have been banned."

St. Ignatius school curbside pcik-up

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

"Very fine people on both sides."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Caution signs.

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'