Safety Regulation Reader Pillows

'If you increase the magnification another million times you can see the safety regulations.'

Eyes Open!...

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'You forgot the product label.'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"These safety goggles are sucking the fun out of the sandbox."

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"The good news is that your husband will never again ignore the company's safety instructions..."

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'They're doing their tests now?

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

I threw my back out picking up the guidelines

Health and safety officer Hedley seconds before he became ex-health and safety officer...

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

Equality in sexes leads to increase in insurance costs.

No hitting below the belt!

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

'Could you bring me the new investment regulations you downloaded yesterday?' 'It's still downloading.'

"Of course not everyone believes in all the health and safety rules....Jim here thinks it's all complete nonsense!"

'I know we shouldn't have rats in the kitchen...but he's the only one who understands the H&S regulations!'

'I'm from Health & Safety...... I wonder if I might have a word....'

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

Safety is about FAMILY!...

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'