Safety Regulation Reader Pillows

'If you increase the magnification another million times you can see the safety regulations.'

Eyes Open!...

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'You forgot the product label.'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

"These safety goggles are sucking the fun out of the sandbox."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"The good news is that your husband will never again ignore the company's safety instructions..."

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Baseball Rules Conference. The actions of this runner are prohibited by the current rules. Next slide, please.

'They're doing their tests now?

I threw my back out picking up the guidelines

Health and safety officer Hedley seconds before he became ex-health and safety officer...

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

Equality in sexes leads to increase in insurance costs.

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

No hitting below the belt!

'Could you bring me the new investment regulations you downloaded yesterday?' 'It's still downloading.'

"Of course not everyone believes in all the health and safety rules....Jim here thinks it's all complete nonsense!"

'I'm from Health & Safety...... I wonder if I might have a word....'

'Nice try, Mom! They're pinking shears.'

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

'I know we shouldn't have rats in the kitchen...but he's the only one who understands the H&S regulations!'

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'