Safety Protocol Ponderer T-Shirts

Bomb Disposal Expert.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

Experts through the ages.

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Woah - random!"

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

'Jerry, The Hermans take the same pharmaceuticals we do!'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Desert Island Surveillance.

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

Look at all the pretty flowers....Neonicotinoids.

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Selective pesticide - to kill only ugly insects (and not butterflies and ladybirds).

A cool proposal

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"