Safety-first Guru T-Shirts

Older man swinging out of bathtub on safety grab bars.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

AI Safety Officer

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Nice park. . .

Beware of Everything

Safest Airline in The World

"It's called being preemptive."

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

"Fasten your seat belt."

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

The Future of Flight?

"Aaaughhh! Don't play with that!"

'It's an old work injury.'